The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Personal Narratives Hold Us Back

I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves—the ones that shape how we see the world, how we move through it, and, most importantly, how we see ourselves.

Recently, I was in a session where I brought up one of my biggest fears: failure. I shared how that fear has followed me, how it’s shaped my choices, and how, even now, it lingers in the background.

And then, something unexpected happened.

The group—people who had spent time working alongside me, observing me, challenging me—looked at me and didn’t see fear at all.

They saw boldness. They saw courage. They saw someone who took risks, who put herself out there, who stood up for what she believed in.

I was stunned. How could their perception of me be so different from the narrative I had been carrying?

It made me pause and reflect: Why am I still holding onto this old story?

The Narratives That Keep Us Stuck

We all have them—these deeply ingrained personal narratives that, at some point, may have protected us, helped us make sense of our experiences, or even pushed us forward. But over time, they can also become a cage.

• “I’m not good enough.” So we hesitate to take the next step.

• “I have to be perfect.” So we overwork ourselves, afraid of making mistakes.

• “I’m not the kind of person who…” So we shrink ourselves to fit outdated identities.

But what if those stories aren’t true anymore? What if they never were?

Rewriting the Story

That moment in the session was a wake-up call. I had been holding onto an old narrative that no longer fit. It was like trying to wear a jacket I had outgrown—comfortable, familiar, but ultimately too small for who I’ve become.

So, I’m working on rewriting my story.

Not one rooted in fear of failure, but one grounded in the reality that others see in me—the reality that I need to see in myself.

Because the truth is, we are often the last to realize how much we’ve grown.

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

If you’ve ever felt held back by an old narrative, I challenge you to ask:

• Is this story still true?

• Would the people who know and respect me describe me this way?

• What if I let go of this and stepped fully into who I really am?

Our personal narratives can either hold us back or push us forward. The good news? We get to decide which one we keep.

What’s a story you’ve been telling yourself that might not be serving you anymore? Let’s talk about it.